interesting 9/11 thought

This came from a dear missionary in my ward who is currently serving in the Philippines. His point certainly applies to more than just 9/11 but it was what caused him to reflect:

I have never found any peace or comfort in memories of 9-11. It has always brought feelings of anger, sadness, disappointment, and any other imaginable variation of these emotions. It is easy to classify such disgusting acts as evil and unforgivable. But such thoughts are drinking poison to our own souls and hoping that our enemies die from it. The Lord commanded:

"Wherefore, I say unto you, ye ought to forgive one another... I the Lord will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men." - DC 64:9-10.

As I have begun to attempt to let go all things of which I have no power to change, it has empowered me and relieved this angry burden. And if you will open your Doctrine and Covenants and check the date on which this revelation was received, you will see that it was given on September 11, 1831 - exactly 170 years before this tragedy would take place. And if you still believe in coincidences, you don't understand the Gospel of Christ.

The Lord has commanded us to have charity for all men. The pure love of Christ. This commandment was given for our benefit and blessing as much as it was for others. In the military version of "Principles of the Gospel" the first Presidency said: "If you must go to war, go in the spirit of truth and righteousness. Go with love in your heart for all God's children, including those on the opposing side." And I know if this is how we allow ourselves to think, we will be able to live more fully in this world, without feeling the evil effects of the world.

We tend to have differing thoughts than most of the world on how and why 9/11 came to occur. But the principle of forgiveness remains constant, regarding of the source of the tragedy. If I believe my own government had a hand in facilitating that day, I have to forgive them as well as those that celebrated our suffering around the world. I think about those leaders and decision makers and think: what happened to that person as a child, as an adorable baby that I would have cuddled and cooed over, to turn them into someone capable of calculating such atrocities? How have they been hurt and manipulated so their heart turned so cold and dark? I have no choice but to feel sorrow for them and I feel so grateful that I can let go of my hard feelings and let the Lord decide whom He will forgive.

But to carry that principle to a more personal level, if the Savior is asking us to forgive for the cruel, unexpected murders on 9/11, what and who is He asking me to forgive in my own life? If He gave that commandment in D&C 64 as a foreshadowing for 9/11, what does that process symbolize (as Sarah likes to look for)? If that event was a macrocosm for the smaller hurts and tragedies in our own lives, are we not commanded to extend the same forgiveness to our brothers and sisters and trust to our God to fix all things?

Symbols of Monotony

The harsh reality is that I struggle every day. I don't love the tasks that make up the bulk of a mother's life. Do I love my life? Yes. Do I love my children? Uh, yeah...who doesn't love my kids? Do I love motherhood? Not quite yet.

So, in an effort to see my day as a tad more meaningful, I started making a list of the tasks I don't like to do and seeing what they mean/represent/symbolize. These are just quick thoughts and they may not even make sense to you but I thought I'd share them anyway. I'd love your additions.

Cleaning of all sorts= represents baptism/purification, repentance

Dishes= nourishment to bodies (representing nourishment of spirit), natural consequences (dishes follow food), abundance and variety

Laundry= clothe (shield and protect) our children, beautify, abundance

Cooking= again representing nourishment (which comes one small meal at a time), you are what you put into yourself (the purer the better), abundance and variety

Tidying= order, all things have a purpose in their sphere (if not, give it to someone for whom it will be able to fulfil the measure of its creation), abundance

Playing with kids= being WITH them (if God's work is to bring to pass our immortality and eternal life, He must actually WANT to be with us- there's no accounting for some People's taste), learning through symbolism, creative/imaginative power of human mind, abundance of time and freedom

Disciplining= all choices have consequences, my efforts represent God's constant teaching and redirecting, reminds me to learn lessons while the price is small

Meal planning/shopping= agency, planning lowers risk of temptation, thought/plans create reality, abundance of choices (this abundance is less cheery than the others- this one can be more a burden than a blessing and we must remember that each thing we put in our "shopping cart" will end up inside us eventually)

Okay, Cozy just woke up and is growling in her crib. I'd love to hear any additions you have. But before I go, I'll add one that just rose to the surface:

End of naptime= life is full of undulations, work always follows rest, and there is nothing better than a post-nap smile (assuming the munchkin isn't grumpy)

Finally finished Les Miserables

I finally finished reading Les Miserables.  It has been quite a journey which began several years ago when I listened to it on tape.  But I have to admit that I only heard about an eighth of it because as soon as it would go into one of Hugo's detours from the main plot, my mind would wander.  When Tiffany raved about it being one of her all-time favorites, I decided I had better read it.  I started about four years ago and got about half way through it.  Then I got derailed by other books and selling our house, moving, and remodel project.  I finally got back to it about a year and a half ago by...brace yourself...keeping it in the bathroom.  That's right, I read the last half a paragraph at a time while using the bathroom.  I think Victor would be insulted.  But at least I finished it, which testifies to the power of eating an elephant a bite at a time. 

I wish I could say I loved it, but I didn't.  I do love the characters, especially Jean Valjean.  I'm always enthralled with multifaceted characters who are complicated, not all good and all bad.  Jean Valjean, however, comes close to being all good, but not without paying a terrible price.  My favorite parts are when he struggles mightily to overcome temptation and finally does the right thing, time and time again.  I love the lofty values that are depicted, the marvelous example of true integrity. I also love, love, love the plot.  It is just such a classic tale of love, sacrifice and honor with wonderful foils of corruption and evil. 

Having said all that, why, you ask, don't I adore the book?  Because I am lazy, for one thing.  All those rants by Hugo were exhausting to me.  And as the king of Austria said to Mozart, "Aren't there too many notes?", I want to say to Hugo, "Aren't there too many words?"  He took twenty pages to tell something that could have been covered nicely in one (sometimes.  I have to admit there were times when his explosion of  words was breathtakingly wonderful).  Besides being lazy, I'm also lacking in enough education to understand all the French words, the historical facts, figures, places and events.  I felt like I was in a foreign country trying to understand a foreign language half the time. 

As for the heart-wrenching conclusion of the book, the one that had Oliver DeMille and Tiff in tears...well, surprise, surprise...(we are talking about me, ya know)...nope, not even a lump in the throat.  Actually, I found it to be somewhat melodramatic.  I am always a little bugged when someone tries to play my emotions like that (yes, I do have them). 

Still, all kidding aside, it is a marvelous book and I will surely recommend it to others, but I will encourage them to read a condensed version.  Sorry Victor...and Tiff. 

summer fun

so, I'm having trouble uploading any videos (grrrrr) - I'll try again later. But here are a few photos in the meantime - great summer!

Video upload tester

Random Report

Hi darling girls. I have been remiss in contributing here, but honestly, time is a real problem. I thought I would try to do a quick and cursery review of the things I've been reading and learning recently. I am frustratingly behind on the reading I would like to be doing, including the articles you've emailed to me. But I have managed to read a few things. I finished a book Sarah passed on to me called (sorry, but there doesn't seem to be the underlining option at the top of the page so I will have to use quotation marks) "To Them That Believe" by Frederick and June Babbel. Bro. Babbel was a secretary to the Quorum of the Twelve and a companion to Ezra Taft Benson when Elder Benson went to Europe after WWII. It begins with some very inspiring and amazing stories of healing by faith. Then he outlines the necessary actions and attitudes that will create faith and healing in our lives. It is a very positive and encouraging book which gave me the desire to experience this power in my life. As Sarah put it recently in a conversation, "We have been living our religion passively". This book teaches how to be more proactive in claiming the blessings the Lord wants to give us. I am going to buy this book because I want to read it again with Jack so that we can internalize the principles in it.

I recently finished a book I started over a year ago. It is an older book called "A Thoughtful Faith". It is a compilation of essays written by about twenty LDS scholars expressing their personal beliefs and describing their spiritual journeys. It came at a time for Jack of inner turmoil and doubt. Reading of these people's struggles with faith was very theraputic for him. He was comforted to realize that everyone has a crisis of their faith at one time or other and is, indeed, part of the process. If we don't ever have to do some real soul-searching, our testimonies are probably pretty shallow. I really enjoyed the essays because I love conversion stories and that is basically what these are. Ultimately, we must all become converts. I love to hear about the process others go through to come to a place of faith and peace. Even though I didn't recognize the names of most of these scholars, I was still fascinated by their deep and thoughtful mental and spiritual work. It is particularly impressive because they live in the intellectual world of academia and have been able to keep their spiritual bearings.

I am now reading another book Sarah gave me written by a second cousin of mine, Garth Allred. It is entitled "Unlocking the Powers of Faith". Sometimes his writing style is a little boring and can feel like a generic conference talk. But if I pay careful attention, I discover that he is teaching profound principles of drawing on the powers of heaven to be healed from our spiritual, mental, emotional and physical illnesses. This is another book I will buy because I am looking for help to implement the things we have been learning lately about mind/body connections, energy, vibrations, meditaton, intention and so on. Brother Allred, as a teacher and therapist, brings together principles of the gospel, truths from science and also, practices from Eastern medicine which coincides with my own personal, current quest.

I feel that some of us in the family have embarked recently on an journey of intensified spiritual discovery which includes learning about the powers of energy and the spirit world. The book by Dr. Melvin Fish, "Healing the Inner Self" has been a powerful introduction to recognizing these invisible forces that influence us constantly. It is exciting to learn that we can exercize our agency in a way to tap into these things to bless, heal, protect and strengthen ourselves. Last week I had lunch with Neill Marriott. I have been reluctant to share these things with her (even though I was longing to since we have been soul-mates for about 30 years now) because I was afraid to bring yet ANOTHER weird idea into their lives. (Her husband just rolls his eyes when he hears that Neill has learned something new from me.) But at lunch, I realized from what she was sharing with me that she, independantly, has been discovering these same principles.

A few years ago, I began to pray that I would be led to move forward on the Path, that I would be prepared for what is coming, that I would be enabled to live higher and deeper principles of the Gospel. Lately, almost every day, I feel I am being quided to more truths which confirm that the Lord is answering my prayers. For instance, I have caught the vision about the importance of preparing to live in Zion. Several books on the subject have come into my life unbidden, which have fired me up on the subject. As we see the world falling apart and wonder how we are going to make it through the coming tribulations, I am learning that Zion is the answer. Of course, we have always known that it is our faith in the Lord and personal righteousness which will be our best defense, but Zion is really going to be our refuge from the storm. I used to think Zion was something for people far, far in the future. It may be many years before Zions cities are actually built, but I am realizing that me must begin now to be Zion people and to teach our children to be Zion people so that we/they will be qualified to live in that environment. Even if we die before Zion is built, if we have become Zion-worthy, we will have qualified to be members of the Church of the First Born. The thing I am realizing more and more is, Zion and Babylon are mutually exclusive. There must be The Great Divorce in our lives. Our desires and tastes and habits cannot straddle the fence. Well, enough of this rant for now, but you will be hearing more from me on this subject.

I have to quit soon, but I wanted to share a little about our weekend. Neill invited Jack and I to join her at the Roger Young preparedness fair held at UVU. We have been to several of these, but Neill hadn't and she was just recently called to be Stake Preparedness Specialist so she wanted to go. It was the usual concoction, everything from wonderful to weird. I know you all don't want to hear gloom and doom, so I won't say much about the scary things we heard. But, even the scary talks were filled with hope and encouragement if we stay focused on the Lord.

I thought I would share a couple of my favorite thoughts that came from the lectures:

1. From Ken Moravek, expert on surviving nuclear, biological and chemical warfare, "You can survive these things". He taught us very practical ways to do that. But the thing that will stay with me was "If you don't have faith, don't go to a tent city. If you think a tent will protect you from nuclear fallout, think again. It is faith in the Lord Jesus Christ that will protect you if you live in a tent city." Amen.

2. Kevin Reese, military training expert, spoke on urban survival when society really unravels. His lecture was very good. The principle I will remember from him is: "Training trumps gear. (Gear can be improvised, but training can't). Community trumps training. There are just too many skills for one person to learn. The idea of Rambo is utter foolishness. We will need each other to survive."

3. Sarah Menet, who had a near-death experience and saw many of the things that are coming, reminded us again and again that what will make a tent city a city of light will be love. She urged us to be true Christians, to not have any animosity for anyone, any group, any ethnicitiy, anyone with different values. She said, "If you hate anyone, you're not a Christian. You're not!" Her lecture was disorganized but still effective as she alternated between warnings of severe trials and promises of divine intervention for the faithful.

I am glad we went because it was a reminder that we must be ever vigilant and continue to prepare, physically and more importantly, spiritually. We must have faith to do whatever the Lord commands, including moving mountains if that is what He wants.

BTW, I ordered some DVDs from the seminar and would love to share them if anyone is interested.

I apologize that my thoughts here are pretty much on the surface. There is just so much to read and think about and talk about. I love you all and know that our hearts rejoice in the same things.

More reading material

Hey guys - just a heads up - I was downloading Kerri Tibbetts articles; Parenting and Headgates, for Nate and I to read on our getaway trip. While on her site, I noticed she added two days ago four more articles, entitled: Executive Control, Family Dinner Deconstructed, Old Fashioned Play, and Why Children Lie. Here is the address:
http://www.headgates.org/resources/
Let the reading begin!!